I quit twitter, so this is probably the last one of these for a while.
That weird vertigo you feel when half your timeline is worried about democracy and the other half is like “my new phone has flat sides tho.”
Gonna spend the next month or two catching up on Stardom
Can’t help but think Animal Crossing and Hades are two sides of the same cursed 2020 game.
- Both games have an “ending” after about 20 hours or so, but that’s really just the point where the game says “okay, you’ve done the loop. Now you can decide the loop for yourself.”
- AC:NH becomes a game about making your “heaven” yours, however you see fit. Grinding, or chilling. Hades lets you set difficulties, making Hell your own. Grinding, or chilling.
- I’d turn this into one of those sweet fifteen minute youtube videos if I had the time or sweet radio voice.
While on hold with Leon’s, I just heard “find your perfect technology for all your man caves and she-sheds.”
Spotify’s Daily Mix playlists are the spiritual successor to a little known but beloved app called Nokia Mix Radio. It’s arguably better (it is 2020, not 2012), but it feels about the same in use.
Pro tip: save your daily mixes to offline.
Going through my “want to go” google map for toronto restos and now I’m really sad.
Imagine if Spotify had half the cool metadata stuff that @letterboxd pro has. I’d pay for this! It’s cool as hell.
Watched Daughters of Darkness and Theatre of Blood for the second time this month, figured I’d give the two best flicks in the @criterionchannl’s 70s horror fest the crowning time they deserve 
The most Democrat Party thing they could do is win the election in a landslide but still let Trump be president because he just won’t leave the room.
In my short trip into @we_are_stardom so far, my favourite gimmick match by a mile are the three “vs Stardom” matches, where one wrestler has to fight the entire roster in one-minute timed exhibitions.
Thinking about taking my twitter friends and goin
It’s November 11, 2020 and I beat Toxic Tower from DKC2 for the first time in my life.
After seeing a few other people making lists for noir movies to watch in november (noirvember!) I made my own. This’ll be a thread. Here’s the list to follow along: https://t.co/huOv7irfMU
First up: Brute Force (1947) (https://t.co/hWVg8i2zA5). It’s super bleak ACAB prison propaganda (the message is to definitely not try to break out of prison, person who’s watching this movie while maybe in prison?)
Highlights from Brute Force include Burt Lancaster using Ultimate Warrior’s powerslam on a brutal cop. It’s very satisfying. https://t.co/HHrrGh0QoX
However, it’s a bit on the slow and dull side. It takes a long time to get cooking, and while the advertising suggests Burt will be shirtless a lot, he in fact is mostly shirted. https://t.co/FBoh6GSAmP
Up next, Secret Beyond the Door, from 1947. Fritz Lane continues his hatred of standard room and door sizes. https://t.co/yXGP5eeGT6
No modern director would ever have the gall to put a wagon full of chickens in this scene https://t.co/KcSVUnutmX
Thanks, it has 
pockets https://t.co/vRQj8j9MAF
It’s against movie law to find a brick wall where one shouldn’t be and not touch the bricks. https://t.co/YqZEI4ysfy
All right, next up for #noirvember, 1985’s To Live and Die in LA. It’s one of the great movies that’s both so Reagen-Era appropriate while also reading like an ACAB 101 display https://t.co/oF3HFLc4Mr
Two major observations:
- I hate every typeface in the film but greatly respect the choice to switch them up every ten minutes.
- Wang Chung should have scored one hundred more films.
I feel like “Shipwreck Joey’s Topless Cabaret” is Good Place-quality naming of a totally unnecessary set piece. https://t.co/Kfp54BQmqh
There’s not much better for a hangover than a good Eddie G face turn, so I’ve put on 1944’s The Woman in the Window and ordered a pizza. https://t.co/DPostc13Vl
For my money, Robinson is about the perfect noir protagonist. Because of his career playing gangsters, it’s easy to believe he’s got villainous potential just under his skin. So when he plays a sap like this, you never know exactly where he stands.
Even though he plays “just” a college professor, you get the sense he knows how to outsmart every cop (and there are a lot of cops in this movie, around every corner). https://t.co/40d2re2MTX
Edward G Robinson walked so Walter White could run. #noirvember https://t.co/ICcEBqamKr
The ending is a disappointment (76 year old spoiler, it was all a dream) but hey, hindsight. I’m sure lots of people were happy with it at the time. Moving on! #noirvember
Next on #Noirvember Farley Granger is like if you took a normal person but made him too handsome and that’s what made him evil. https://t.co/msTNFGlWwa
Next on #Noirvember Farley Granger is like if you took a normal person but made him too handsome and that’s what turns him evil.
Granger’s looks only come into it in this flick (which gets dark real fast) in that he’s the only person in the movie who’s ever once seen the inside of a house.
Yes yes Cathy O’Donnell is very pretty but her character has clearly never used electricity. I’m surprised she even knew what a watch was when Granger gave her one.
Up next on my #noirvember list, Where the Sidewalk Ends (1950). It dares to ask the question: what if a cop isn’t nice?
It’s directed by Otto Preminger, who made Anatomy of a Murder, Laura, and The Man with the Golden Arm. Where the Sidewalk Ends is excellent and it’s his eighth-highest rated film on @letterboxd.
It is very good but I have nothing to say other than it’s appointment viewing and I drop everything to watch it. https://t.co/Rxel1GNKRb
Where the Sidewalk Ends also has some incredible line reads. “So he rolls his alcoholic eyes at you and you set yourself up for another left hook.” Wordplay!
Tonight, I’m watching Detour from 1945 for #noirvember. It’s 67 minutes long, which technically makes it just a single episode of 2020 television https://t.co/cI781IJBfc
Detour is real flashback-heavy and winding, almost like the title is also its narrative style.
Detour’s best line belongs to Ann Savage (when is that not true?) : “I spend two hours preparing bait and all you can say is ‘lets go’.” 
#Noirvember
Second #noirvember flick tonight, 1943’s Shadow of a Doubt. I’ve got high hopes for this one. https://t.co/J2NyZMv0Nq
Shadow of a Doubt is a swell time between pals, as the kids would say. https://t.co/MzDO6dSAsA
Saturday afternoon is the perfect time for a #noir, so I’m watching Night and the City and eating more candy https://t.co/xeNefJIoWv
Totally poached Odd Man Out from another #Noirvember list and I’m glad I did. My list was sorely lacking in James Mason.
Odd Man Out is about James Mason getting shot in the first ten minutes after a botched robbery. The whole town wrestles with Dickensian morality on whether to help him or turn him into the cops. It’s real good.
This is my monthly reminder that Uncut Gems should win the Oscar for Best Picture this year despite coming out over a year ago.
The greatest thing the New World Order wrestling faction ever did was call itself that. Now whenever nutbars talk about the conspiracy theory the trending section is immediately drowned out with gifs of Scott Norton.
We watched Shutter Island last night with friends for #noirvember and it’s still just a goddamn perfect film. No notes.
Just finished @fodderfigure’s memoir and it made me cry like three times. It also confirmed my suspicions that she’s very cool.
You know we could all still just be updating our MSN status but noooooooo
After a four day break, back at it for #Noirvember with The Long Goodbye, which is one of those movies Tom Waits isn’t in but could easily play every part if needed
- He lights a match on PLEXIGLASS
- If you’re gonna modernize a Bogey line, might as well make it crackly.
I basically just want to see cool suplexes.
- This is a wrestling tweet but it also applies everywhere. More suplexes, please.
Saturday night’s #Noirvember joint is Pickup on South Street.
- I think it’s pretty fitting that in order to watch this movie, you pretty much have to steal it.
- This one’s fantastic. If you can find it. Which you can’t.
I’m not really paying attention to wwe, but it seems right that The Miz is holding the MITB briefcase. In my mind, and my heart, he’s always holding it. He should just have unlimited briefcases, and be the only person to ever have the opportunity to cash in.
Friday night silly time for #noirvember: 1991’s Cast a Deadly Spell. It’s campy and garbage and I love it. https://t.co/GzQaA4ysao
- Yes I found it while searching for Lovecraft Country on Crave and that’s how you’ll find it too.
Protip: if you’re going to make a Notion database for groceries, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t just add cocktails as a recipe type. https://t.co/pfp2SyhOwX
Just watched On The Rocks. It mostly made me want to watch better movies with older charismatic characters. Maybe that’s my December movie theme thing.
Lovecraft Country the book feels like a rough draft for the show. I actually love it when the more recent version of a story builds upon and riffs on the previous version of a story.
Anybody else having weird COVID dreams? I was on a cruise ship in mine (never been on a cruise ship) surrounded by too many people. Not a mask in sight. Felt like a paranoid person. Very They Live.
I love it here https://t.co/8b9VnaP02O
Oh good, I was wondering how I was going to get through the week. https://t.co/0LZuypDQpI
Good sunset tonight #toronto https://t.co/OZ1EzsXIqj
Now that Apple is putting the digital crown on other things, why not the iPhone? It would really work there?
So now we just need an iPhone Pro and a MacBook Max.
Had the mall dream again
I love lucha libre but I don’t know that I’ll ever fully get used to all the ads all over the arena. #TriplemaniaXXVIII
Watching a Spider-Man wrestling match in 2020 actually was on my bingo card so thanks #TriplemaniaXXVIII
Laredo Kid vs Kenny Omega is the easiest layup of obvious 4-star great stuff.
Also, trident gum is the chewiest gum.
Every layout app on iOS does 1% of what InDesign does, and I often forget how much faster and more customizable a design can be if I just use my big old Raspberry Pink/Dark Puce friend
Watching #TriplemaniaXXVIII last night reminded me how little I care for commentary. If you can switch audio to a language you don’t understand, highly recommended.
Stardom has no commentary at all, so the audience is just the wrestlers and the audience. It’s absolutely lovely except for the screaming.
remember when you were off the internet sometimes
Heard this on a podcast and now I can’t get it out of my head: the Peloton girl looked so panicked, exhausted, and afraid because she was recording that video throughout 2020.
Just did my first Apple Fitness+ workout, and it’s kind of as I figured: Apple hired a bunch of very nice personal trainers with absolutely no personality.
- When Apple Fitness+ trainers say left leg, they’re mirroring. They use their right leg, and you’re supposed to use your left, so it “matches”. Peloton trainers say left, they use their left leg, and so do you. It looks flipped, but it’s real. Little details, but I’m guessing one feels wrong no matter what to half the people.
Hearts are useless on music services. Give me “I guess I thought this was okay in 2006” and “I’ve heard this before? Really?”
Protip: if you’re a gamer or just sad all the time, put your Animal Crossing New Horizions screenshots in a folder and make it your desktop background.
Sure Kenny Omega’s okay but have you heard The Mess Inside by the Mountain Goats?
in 2020 you really hunkered down and got serious about hitting that A button
I’m gonna go back to tweeting like it’s 2007.
Video Game Top 10s: Hey, Animal Crossing was there for us all Music Top 10s: This grassroots hiphop virtual DJ from Holland you’ve never heard of put out something transcendent.
Merry Christmas you janky-ass website full of democracy-nerfing jerkbeans
I’ve also seen fewer Instagram stories. Maybe the trend is veering off from the temporary post?
Sometimes I need to remind myself that Twitter is just a belligerent comment section and the article itself might not even exist.
Play Manifold Garden for half an hour and then read something. Tell me you don’t fall through the text a bit.
Jay White is such a good heel that I literally get stressed out thinking about him winning anything.
I want to enjoy Twitter again so I’m unfollowing you.
Today I learned MF DOOM used to wear a @reymysterio mask
The 3DS is super dead but I still have so many games to play on it.
So I think I’m done my scouting of @we_are_stardom for a little while. I like them a lot but their schedule is relentless and I need a break. I always try to remind people: when there’s no offseason, you have to create your own.
- I watched 122 @we_are_stardom matches last year. 4 were 5-point matches in my scoring system: Arisa Hoshiki vs Utami Hayashishita (1-19), Saya Kamitani vs Tam Nakano (9-12), Tam Nakano vs Giulia (9-13), and Giulia vs. Syuri (12-20).
- There were way more 4-star matches, though. @we_are_stardom is stacked with clean technical wrestlers. AZM, Starlight Kid, Momo Watanabe, Konami, and, of course, Mayu Iwatani are all just so fun to watch.
- It’s incredibly easy to sign up to Stardom World to just check it out for a month at a time. It’s the same $10 you’d be giving to WWE or FITE or whoever over here.
Weezer just entering their fourth decade of recording like there’s still a rock music industry you have to love it
It’s 2021 and Prince Puma and Johnny Mundo are wrestling one another. Nature is healing.
- I haven’t really been paying attention to WWE but it’s nice to see the Miz with the MITB briefcase he spent in 2010 and probably hasn’t won back legitimately since.
- My favourite part of this show is the WWE2K20 cam for the entrance ramp. They should do the whole show like that, just give everyone car sickness.
- I mean, Christian and Edge hugging in the same ring is not a thing they ever had to give us but maybe they love us and want us to be happy.
- I added pretty much all of WCW into my wrestling database. I can’t believe that regular people will just be able to binge Nitro along with Frasier on the same app in two months.
Where is the door in the Apple Fitness+ room
Kids these days bemoaning going 530 days between Nintendo Directs sure weren’t around for the N64 huh
The Lady and the Dale probably dropped at the wrong time. Few people look to January for TV show of the year.
Oh I don’t like downtown Toronto anymore
- I absolutely can’t wait to love it again
Oh why am I buying 3DS games. Girl.
You’re either on clubhouse, or you’ve been told about it by white guys on podcasts.
- I’ve heard like twelve white guys in their 40s talk about it now.